How to become an author in 5 incredibly difficult steps

An insightful and mildly hysterical look at the 5 painstaking steps it takes to become an author.  I literally el oh elled reading this one.  Thanks to Kate who found and shared this post on her wonderful blog Klebenleiben.


How to Become an Author in 5 Incredibly Difficult Steps

By Robert Brockway
June 22, 2011 389,653 views

A while back, I wrote a non-fiction book about the apocalypse. Since publishing the book, the question I get asked the most has to be: “What are you doing in my toolshed?” Second place goes to “Is that my wife’s cocktail dress?” The third is- well, let’s skip ahead to questions not relating to a highly illegal fetish revolving around forbidden sheds and stolen evening wear. People usually ask me: “How did you get your book published?” Everybody wants to know how the process works, because they think that if they can just get the steps for this secret dance memorized, it’s all plaid jackets and grad-student-blowjobs from that point forward. There are a lot of questions and answers for new authors out there on the Internet, but they always seem to skirt the subject in the name of preserving some sort of artistic mystique. As is the case with all nice things, I would like to ruin that tradition. I’ll talk to you about the publishing process honestly and unflinchingly, even when it makes the whole thing (and by extension, me) look kind of shitty.

~storytelling nomad~

7 comments on “How to become an author in 5 incredibly difficult steps

    • Oh how I would love to respond with a nonchalant “why yes, it was nothing really” as I continue sipping wine in the mansion I bought with the profits from my bestseller. And yet…sadly no. This is quoted from another person’s blog, which you can access by clicking the link at the bottom of the post. One day though my friend, one day!!

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